Author: jasonsnene
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Rating: NC17
Warnings: M/M, crack!flc
Beta:
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carinas_carinaeSpecial Thanks to my Ash shaped friend for helping me find my funny. *hugs*
Written for the Angel's Bunnies Challenge at
strip_off_angelfor ginnyrules2. Her request:I just want some funny interaction between them, maybe Spike having a go at Angel, although I do want nice fluffy ending.
As brilliant plans went, this one was not turning out to be one of Angel’s greatest. Normally, he was a stay and slay kind of Champion. He’d faced vampires and demons, slimy and flamy. But never in all his years of being a vampire had he ever seen anything more horrifying than the demons looking for him in the lobby of Wolfram and Hart.
It wasn’t that they were big. No, he’d faced bigger. And they weren’t shooting flames and they didn’t have wooden weapons. No, what they had was much, much worse. It was truly his worst nightmare.
They had bleach venom. And they had threatened his hair. Angel could only imagine how horrible he would look with Spike’s hair. Granted, it worked for Spike. But on him? No way. Never in a million years.
So Angel did what any hair respecting vampire would do. He ran. His first plan was to get into his Viper and test that zero to 60 in 5 seconds thing they advertised. Which would have worked out great if Spike wasn’t currently standing at the trunk, unloading a supply of…on second though, he really didn’t want to know what it was a supply of.
Before he could bemoan his fate, Angel yelled at Spike to get in the car. And Spike just stood there. Well, he stood there and raised a brow. Damn it. Didn’t anyone have a sense of hair urgency? Obviously it was too much to hope for. It must be part of the curse. Those damn gypsies.
The elevator dinged behind him and Angel did the first thing that popped into his mind. He jumped in the open trunk and pulled Spike in right along side him. Then he slammed the trunk closed and let out a sigh of relief that quickly became a bigger whoosh of air when Spike elbowed him in the stomach.
“Wot the fuck?”
Angel was still trying to recover from the pain in his stomach and took too long to answer. Spike wiggled around in the cramped trunk until they were facing each other.
“You ponce! You locked us in the bloody trunk!”
“It’s okay. You’ve got the keys. We can get out.”
“You tit! The keys are in the lock. On the OUTSIDE of the car.”
Angel wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. So he kept quiet. This wasn’t good.
“Speak, you poof! Why the bloody hell are we locked in the soddin’ trunk?”
Angel bit his lip. How exactly could he explain this so that he didn’t sound like a, well, a poof? “Demons. Big ones. Flames. Wood.”
Spike sighed. “Git.”
Angel quickly realized that his best way out of this was to distract Spike. Fortunately for him, Spike was easily distracted. A quick snap and quicker zip and Angel had his hand down Spike’s pants. See there? Spike was distracted. Easy.
Then he leaned forward and nuzzled Spike’s neck. Lick. Suck. Nibble. And groan. The last part wasn’t from him. Operation distraction was a success. Angel mentally cheered himself.
Now, one hand continues the down the pants distraction, which was working exceedingly well from the size of things, mouth continues its lick, suck, nibble and repeat duty, and then for the final phase: other hand creeps around and slips down the back of the pants.
Score! Another groan. He’d forgotten how good at this he was. And now that he thought about it, he’d forgotten how good this felt. Spike fit against him just so. Well, maybe that had a little to do with the fact that they were lodged in the trunk, but still, they fit together.
Angel felt Spike fumbling in his pocket and a tube of lube was slapped into Angel’s hand. Then Spike’s hands were at his pants, freeing his cock and jacking it in time with Angel’s own motions.
Damn, that felt good. Angel groaned into Spike’s neck and bit down causing Spike to arch against him. He fisted his hand around both of their cocks until Spike pushed him away and rolled over onto his other side.
Angel put the tube to good use, slicking himself and Spike quickly before he pushed forward and embedded himself in Spike’s body. It was fast and furious, limited by the tight confines of the trunk, but intensified for that very same reason.
Spike reached back and pulled Angel’s head back into his neck and Angel slipped into his true face, sinking his fangs deep into Spike’s neck. They both arched and came, Spike spurting over Angel’s still pumping hand, and Angel shooting deep into Spike’s ass.
They separated a moment later and Spike rolled back over to face Angel. “If you wanted a piece of my ass, you didn’t have to lock us in the boot, you know.”
Angel’s brains had just left via his cock and he couldn’t think to form a response. “…”
“Yeah, you saw the bleach demons, didn’t you? You’re such a poof.”
“…”
“You gonna get us out of here now.”
“…”
“Bloody hell. I have to do everything myself.”
Spike pulled the emergency latch and the trunk flew open. Angel’s brain started functioning again. “Hey! How did you know that was there?”
“Heh. You don’t think this is my first time locked in a trunk do you? Live a little, Angel.”
Spike hopped out of the trunk and straightened his clothes.
“Now, I’ve got to go meet with the bleached ones. We’re starting a new line of hair care products. Hopefully you didn’t scare them off.”
Angel stared at Spike’s retreating form. He could only think of one thing to say. “Hair care products?”
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This is such a great story as always from your side. Thanks for sharing naughty harlot.
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Fortunately for him, Spike was easily distracted.
Priceless!
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Not the first time he has been locked in a car trunk? That sounded soooo
Spike.
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And you know someone has locked Spike in a trunk at some point...it just had to happen. probably was Xander. *g*
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Angel being so protective of his hair, that was just so like him. Then don't really think the bleached look would be good for him. So couldn't carry it off Hee Hee!
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I could just see the little frown on Angel's face during his last line. Thanks for sharing this funny piece.
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Thanks for reading.
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This was awesome, hunny!
You've got a knack for humor and crack!fic :)
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So, you'll have 2 from me soon!!
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Gabrielle
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*hugs*
P.S. I had a really bad dream about you the other night. You were mad at me. I was all heart broken. I have the strangest dreams.
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I'm glad that little car had a tardis trunk.
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I love reading the funny side of the Angel-world X)
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Aw, they're so cute. Angel and his distractions! *G*
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*hugs*
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Hair care products!!
Thank you for sharing!!
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Excellent spangel ficlet, hon.
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So Angel did what any hair respecting vampire would do.
Didn’t anyone have a sense of hair urgency?
Angel is a tad bit too invested in his hair, isn't he? *grins*
Love, love the "distraction."
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I'm thinking Angel may be hair obsessed. Just a smidge. And Spike is just the vamp to provide a distraction. LOL
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:))))
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*giggle*
*flails*
OMG *love*
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Thank you!! :D
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And of course Spike knew where the emergency release was. Evol Spike. :)
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Thanks!
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GOODNESS!
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